A Grievous Heart
Enjoying the happy moments in the midst of sadness…
Throughout the years 2019 & 2020, I lost a few loved ones, so for a while my own happiness just didn’t feel right to me. Why do I get to enjoy life when they no longer can? After each loss, it felt even harder for me to enjoy the happy moments in life. My heart hurt from the losses, and my heart hurt even more for the ones closer to them than I was. I was in the strangest place then, and it was unfamiliar to me. I had this intense fear of losing everyone I loved in a short span of time because well…at the time, that seemed to be going around. Till this day, though I no longer possess that irrational fear of losing everyone at once, sometimes I prepare myself for the worst news possible, and other times I water down my happiness as if I’m bracing myself for a crash landing. In the midst of grief, how do we hold on to happy moments, how do we avoid taking them for granted? See, that was the difficult part for me, sadness along with the guilt of moving on would slightly pull me back every time there were moments of happiness, as if to remind me that things will not always be this way. I now realize that the spirit of the Lord does not bring sadness, it brings comfort. And for us to reject His comfort is for us to “quench the spirit”, by suppressing the true power and benefit of the Holy Spirit within us. I recalled 1 Thessalonians 5:19&21 where it urges us not to quench the spirit, and to hold on to what’s good. When God provides moments of happiness in the midst of your heart breaking circumstances, hold on to it, allow it to remind you of what once was, and will be again through Christ. So even in the midst of a storm, by simply holding on to what’s good within, you will be encouraged to get through. As we know, the evil forces that be do not wish to see us prosper, so maybe you experience a season full of heartbreak allowed by God ultimately meant to transform you, yet forged by the enemy to destroy you. I say all this to say that the enemy doesn’t want you to find and hold on to moments of happiness in the midst of trials and tribulations because those moments bring hope. See, in scripture even Jesus shows us that it's okay to be sad, but He also shows us that our Faith in God should never keep us there. Knowing that He had the power and authority to heal Lazarus, moved by compassion, Jesus wept. The miracle that followed (the resurrection), shows that loss followed by faith, leads to restoration. Faith will restore a grievous heart. A friend of our family passed away this morning, and daily I prayed for her complete healing. I can never be angry with God, because I know that everything He does and allows comes from a place of love. I realize that in the Lord allowing her to pass on, He answered our prayers to make her whole again. He knew that here was not where she was meant to be whole, but it is with Him that she gets to experience the full manifestation of our prayers. We serve a mysterious God, His ways are beyond our ways, and His thoughts beyond our thoughts, all we can do is submit to His will for life period, and trust that we all will meet a prosperous end.
Scriptures to reflect on:
Read the book of John Chapter 11 verses 1-44 (The Story of Lazarus)
2 Corinthians 1:3
He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.
1 Thessalonians 5:21
19) Do not quench the Spirit. 20) Do not treat prophecies with contempt 21) but test them all; hold on to what is good, 22) reject every kind of evil.
Isaiah 55:8-9
8) “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9) As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
P.S - There was a random day in the midst of this time of my life (2019 & 2020) where I felt happiness without a limit. That was probably one of the most pivotal days in my life. I knew then that the happiness I sought, existed. I had been under a dark cloud for so long, and it was as if God allowed me to experience that day so that I would later search for it again, but this time through Him. And eventually I did, and I found what I had been looking for.
Mathew 7:7-8
Ask, Seek, Knock
7) Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8) For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
