Trauma

As I sat in my car today, I found myself reflecting on the concept of trauma. I've always been the type to downplay my past experiences, thinking, "It could have been worse." Being on the other end of my experiences, I sometimes feel guilty for crying over the past, especially knowing that there are others out there praying to be in a position like mine today—one of freedom. Even though I wasn't deliberately talking to God at that moment, the Holy Spirit brought to my mind some important truths about my past.

In the past, I would have never admitted that I had experienced a traumatic event. The person I became as a result felt normal to me and everyone around me. Consequently, no one—including myself—sought to find the person who I had been lost because, to us, she seemed to have never left. The Holy Spirit helped me realize that trauma is like weeds being planted at night among wheat, strategically placed for the right moment, with its initial effects going unnoticed. The enemy’s goal is to corrupt what has potential in hopes to discourage you away from the will of God for your life. 

For instance, the Lord may have blessed you by placing you in a loving and united family designed to teach you about His true character from an early age. The fact that the Lord favored you in such a way instills fear in the heart of the enemy. Recognizing the undeserved favor on your life—and, in other words, your overall potential for greatness in the kingdom—he attempted to and successfully instilled a moment of fear, misguided love, and complete distrust within you. His aim was to blind you to who God is and to His intended purpose for your life.

Sadly, for many, this can prevent them from walking in alignment with God’s will for their lives. For others, however, it can lead them to put away childish things and seek true healing and transformation through Christ.

Through this transformation, you will begin to realize that the person you became as a result of your experiences was a false representation of who you truly are. You will rediscover the parts of yourself that were lost and understand how special they are, as well as why the enemy sought to diminish them in the first place. It’s through the transformation process that we become familiar with the truth, enabling us to recognize falsehoods when we encounter them. I’m learning that for some of us, it may not be until we start uprooting the wheat or stepping into what God has for us that we recognize the significance of the weeds planted in our lives.

The enemy may be strategic about planting traumatic events throughout our lives, but the Lord is also strategic in His allowance of certain experiences. For we know that the enemy cannot act without God’s permission (See Job 1:11). Your story is meant for God’s glory. If trauma has led you into some form of ministry (big or small), then you have found your "Why?"—it is to relate to the lost so that they may be found, just as you once were. As you shine and serve as a living testimony of God’s grace and mercy in your life, the glory flows out from you and is accredited to the Lord. Recognizing that you never could have made it on your own and sharing that with the world is where God receives His glory, so always remember to share your story.

Here’s what I want you to know:

Your trauma is yours alone; another person's trauma does not diminish what you've experienced. There is far more light surrounding you than darkness. At times, the darkness may feel overwhelming, but that's often due to where you choose to focus your attention. Seek out the light, hold onto it, and be grateful for it. God's truth will always outweigh the lies of the enemy, so learn and meditate on His truth (The Word of God). In the end, God will receive the glory from your story because, despite the odds, you will emerge victorious. And remember, you are amazing! You are not defined by your trauma; you are you—a child of God, and He loves you more than you can comprehend.

I want to be cautious with this statement, as I understand your struggles and how difficult it may be to believe it. However, I firmly believe that traumatic experiences do not just happen to us; they happen for us. I had to discover my "why" behind it all, and I encourage you to seek the same through Christ. He will provide you with the clarity and comfort you need. Trust Him!